What to do

This morning I went to look at a possible nursery for Oli to join when I go back to work.

I can't actually believe how quickly that's come around.
When I was pregnant and looking towards my maternity leave, it felt like I was going to be away from work for ever. But now the months are starting to speed by and I need to make some decisions.

I'd initially planned to be away from work until Oli was at least 6 months old and then it would be down to how poor we were as to when I would return. Now the little chap is here though, I understand why people find it so hard to leave such a small person in the care of strangers (essentially).
I'll only really be happy leaving Oli when he's more of his own person and not so dependent. I hate picturing him just lying there with no stimulation or being ignored. I know that that's a worse case scenario and not likely to happen but still.

There are so many things to consider right now. Like whether to even return to my job or to take the opportunity to build up my personal creative empire. To be honest though, a potential £600 monthly childcare bill kind of dictates that I go back to a paying job!

I do still enjoy my job. And love that the first thing I do in the morning is open Photoshop. And I get paid for being creative.
And as much as I love to romatically picture myself in a studio space (oh to live like Camilla Engman), and spending my days with similar beings, I just don't think it's feasible. I'm not convinced it's the best time to become a starving artist. Then again you only live once! Oh I don't know.

hmmm.